Our guest writer Liliana Tavera focuses on living in the present moment, as she honors the memory of her daughter Sofia, who went to heaven in June 2020. "Lili" discovered Sacred Sorrows as a retreat participant in Spring 2022.
This New Year celebration thing was never one of my favorites and now that's even more true. It no longer feels the same, period. I think it's because the new year begins, and those dreaded dates will come upon me again: the date of my daughter Sofia's birth, and the date of her death. This is the third year of my life in which the last day of the year felt like any other day - but this year, I did not have the motivation to cook my family our traditional meal of tamales - or to even think about it. Instead, I kept thinking, huh, this is weird, it is the last day of 2022, and I am not feeling it, again.
Then I thought, it's OK. I don’t need to celebrate it if I am not feeling it. I don't need it to be a special day or a holiday to give thanks, to go to church, to talk to family and friends, to cook a nice meal, to sit around the table with my family and spend time with them, to tell them how much I love them, to make new resolutions for my life, to start new traditions, or even to be present!
So when I felt different that day, I just took it as it was and let it be. I am not obligated to continue with old traditions, things, or friendships. It is OK not to be OK.
I didn't even fight the feeling because sometimes there is nothing to fight. This is just the way things are going to be sometimes. In a way, I felt calm and stress-free.
Every day is a special day, tomorrow is not promised. It took me time to realize that, but every day is a special day. God’s mercies are new every day - every day is a new beginning. God is still giving us the gift of life, and every morning when we wake up, God makes a way for us, and we must make a choice. Part of that choice is to accept things as they are. Without our beloved children...
Life is full of choices, but by the grace of God, we will get through this.
To new friends, traditions and beginnings…
I love you so much Lili.